Archive for May, 2009



I hope so.

I don’t see it as entirely impossible. In my fantasy (successful) America, Mitt Romney will be President in 2012.

Even if you’re not a Romney fan, you have to admit it is a possibility that he will be needed, wanted, and elected in four years after the disaster BHO is so generously bestowing upon us. And, if the very plausible buzz about Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman, Jr. comes true, he might indeed be ready for a first try at the Presidency. Though Huntsman’s bi-partisanship might not be as attractive if Obama’s administration crashes and burns completely. Then again, we might need him to teach us Chinese by 2016. Kidding (I hope).

Interestingly absent, to me, is the media pouncing on the fact that he is a Mormon. Yes, they mention that he learned Chinese on his mission to Taiwan, but it is just that, a mention. No constant and hateful attacks on his religion, like Romney experienced during the 2008 primaries, and prior? What’s the deal? It couldn’t have anything to do with who the ambassadorship invitation came from, or could it?

Jon Huntsman is so very RINO that he falls into that category of “oh yeah, I forgot he was Mormon” to those of us who are LDS. Not quite as bad as Harry Reid, who is more in the WTF? category. I’m not saying all Mormons love Romney or are Republicans, that would be like saying all black people love Obama. But I am saying I would enjoy not only if a.) Romney does indeed become President and b.) Huntsman challenges him in the 2016 primaries and attempts to debate Mitt. Maybe I’m more interested in the entertainment value than in the historical aspect. Yes, Huntsman would only be 56 in 2016. But at 69, Romney will be at the perfect age to continue his second term. And no matter how much Jon tries to fake-tan and do his hair like him, he’s just not as real a Republican as Mitt. Or as handsome. MORMONBATTLE!!!


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ssshhhhh...it's called a PERSONALITY.

ssshhhhh...it's called a PERSONALITY.


Of course it had to happen. He couldn’t always be my own personal pseudo-obscure funny radio guy. Even when he was on Headline News and before, say, the release of An Inconvenient Book, I could mention his name in mixed company with little or no reaction. Then the Fox News debut. Suddenly everyone knows my beloved Glennie.

Knows him, and evidently either loves or hates him (like a new FNC campaign proclaims).  Or thinks he is KAH-RAZY!

Glenn Beck magically appeared on my car radio in 2003 while I was driving around San Francisco on a Friday afternoon. I remember exactly where I was (Fell St and Divisadero) and what he was playing (Frenchy Frenchman)when I had to pull over since I was crying from laughter. Until that very moment my talk radio experience had consisted of a little bit of Rush, and a whole lot of Michael Savage. At the time, I was also a Brand New Conservative. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing…COMEDY. He was beyond hysterical, he was intelligent, he wasn’t angry. He was fluffy and funny and wasn’t calling anyone a red diaper doper baby. He’s not a zombie-con, nor solely Libertarian, he’s almost his own brand. Instantly fell in love. And now the bias disclaimer begins; I find out he is from my general homeland of Western Washington, he is a Mormon, and happens to be very cute (okay, it’s a personal preference). I couldn’t get enough of him. I was swiftly gifted with the CNN show, the comedy tours, some books, and finally, his new Fox show was surrounding us.

And, all of a sudden…He’s NUTS! He CRIES! He’s an EXTREMIST! No, he’s a POPULIST! He’s on CRACK! He’s a RACIST! He’s APOCALYPTIC! But, most of all, He CRIES!!! All this at 5 p.m. Eastern! He’s not only made it onto Olby’s list, he’s also made it into Dickipedia. For all that extremist crying.

I’m not here to truly defend him, as we already know how I feel. He’s ridiculously successful, is killing in the ratings, and he doesn’t need my help. I’m just fascinated by all the outrage. Well, fascinated and confused. It is understandably part of the rising fame deal, but I’m amazed that Americans are so, um, scandalized by a man who has a personality. Is he so shocking because he appears alongside journalists and straight-news people? Is it because he gets up and moves around and talks to dead fish and eats M&Ms on air? I don’t get it. I get that he’s different. I get that he illustrates some points with a grocery-store birthday cake rather than with an All-American Panel. It’s funny. He’s different. That’s what he’s there for.

The crying? You all know he has done it before this year, right? I don’t remember a lot of noise when he sincerely sobbed over the loss of his religious leader. He tears up and cries for real. He’s an emotional guy. Maybe it only happens in my world, but tearing up and crying occurs all around me. Does the world really find this unacceptable? If it is, fine…I just haven’t been made aware. Maybe it’s just not allowed on tv…?

He doesn’t claim to be anyone he isn’t. He is a commentator and a comedian. Not a journalist. If there is something he doesn’t know he is the first to admit it. How can he be anything but refreshing? To anyone?!? I also don’t see the worry about him causing already-crazies to go nutsier with his fervor. Really? He alone is going to spark The End? Many people I respect are convinced that all his fans are batshit crazy bunker-ridden militia kids. They aren’t leaving me out of the generalization, either. His on-air antics aren’t always calm or classy, understood. Critics are convinced it’s either all an act or he’s certifiable.

I get him. I’m glad some other people out there get him. I’m also forever thankful that there is someone else out there who pretty much thinks the way I do politically and does it with humor. And yes, I DO think his mind is highly-nuanced.

Glennie Forevs.

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Nothing has fascinated Allah lately (at least since Lady Gaga) more than a Mr. Arthur Kade. If you don’t happen to already know his magic, take a few days and follow The Journey, and you will be set.  Allah has even seemed to adopt some of Kade’s standards in the past few weeks, which is why he seems even more deserving of his own Scale. We are also aware of AP’s frequent pining-after of certain celebrities, and also of his various preferences. He is a leg man, he prefers brunettes (but this shall not affect the Scale), and you need to be smart enough to work a Senseo. This is all a fantasy, of course: the Allah is committed to living single. After compiling this list, I’m convinced there is simply no man or woman presently living who is up to his standards.

10—the Allahpundit Pinnacle

So far, the only woman I’ve ever heard AP say is the “perfect woman” or “close to goddess-status” is Kari Byron of Mythbusters. Not a brunette, but definitely has the leg thing going.











9—Allah’s Highest Praises

Lady Gaga has to go here. He seems (seemed?) taken with the Glorious Joke…and the fact that she never wears anything below the waist.


















8’s are a mix of girls Allahpundit has maybe actually met and/or are slightly more attainable as they are TV personalities. Only SLIGHTLY. And one Alpha AP seems to love almost as much as an 8. Kirsten Powers, Andrea Tantaros, Aida Mollenkamp, and the sexxxxxxxy Andy Levy.




7—still awesome.

Meggie Mac has to go somewhere, and since AP alternates between feeling like her “older brother” and having the old heart-ache when we hear she likes the bad boys. His loving defense of her still warrants about a 7 (above average, keep as a friend in Kadeland…like Cameron Diaz, Salma Hayek etc.) If only he would come to all our asses’ defense.














6 and under—Eh.

This is for the rest of us. And this guy, or something.



Imagine greatness, people. Live the dream.


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Unbreak my heart…


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it’s real.

just not spectacular. I still plan on being here, though. maybe.


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Today on Twitter, the ever-present Allahpundit of Hot Air and beyond, suggested this to Ms. Meghan McCain. Amidst the maelstrom of ridiculousness that is thrown out there every day about this girl, it was a sudden click of sensibility.

I’m not in any way writing to over-praise Allah (ha) or the blonde “Republican.”  I’m just a fan of things that make sense once in a while in an entirely senseless world. It is a well-known fact that Allahpundit has come to her defense several times, and is constantly teased for having a “crush” on her, or more than that. Whenever she is featured on Hotair.com, the comments are pricelessly awful; one being more crass than the next. You know…fat jokes, dumb blonde jokes, hits on Allah for not getting any action. They are a riot to read, but after a while you start to realize it’s not really a joke, it is what people really think of her.

This is where the advice comes in. What is the main issue the general Conservative population has with Meghan? That in her supposed effort to revitalize the Republican party, she has denegrated it more than anything. Her efforts to be liked by everyone, and to be so “inclusive” have led to her sounding more hateful than grateful. McCain’s most recent appearance on The View was more about apologizing for the party and making sure she wasn’t grouped in with those “creepy old guys” so creepy old hags like Joy Behar might accept her or something. I understand that she wants to get her own point across. But why not educate yourself on what the party is actually about and align yourself very clearly with some of its strengths, if you so badly want to be a cheerleader. Other Twitterers have suggested she is only recognized by the media because of Daddy and because she is so critical of where the GOP is going or not going. Yes, probably. But imagine the attention she would get if she started walking the walk rather than, you know. It’s great to say you love something. How about showing it? Once in a while. Then she might actually become…gasp…what she has been talking about all along.  A cool, hip, young Republican. Who may or may not be Progressive-Lite.

What about the more shallow issues? I’m the first one to admit that I’m often in disbelief that this already-rich girl who says extremely inane things more often than not has  A BOOK DEAL. Okay, more than disbelief. It is jealousy. I’m sure there are other young, beautiful and, ahem, intelligent girls out there that just know they could do everything she is doing, and do it better. That’s really the main thing. What I hear the most? “I realllllly WANT to like her, I just can’t.” It’s because we all have girlfriends just like her. They are fun, like to make salsa and margaritas too, they are our shopping buddies, and we talk about clothes and shoes and makeup like girls do. There is nothing wrong with that! This is why Allahpundit defends her so vehemently, she is 24 years old after all. Maybe that is why I was so pleased with what he said today, he was actually suggesting something useful, not just blindly rescuing her from the “Haters.” We want to like her because she is a fun girl, we don’t like her because she is a fun girl.  Here’s my question…do we love to hate her because she is a girl? Maybe this has been asked before, but what if this were Cindy and John’s handsome son? Would it be remotely the same? Would he be the savior and hope? And as far as the weight thing goes…that’s just ridiculous. She is a tiny girl. She has a figure that is naturally more prone to beer-gut-ishness than to an hourglass shape, and has boobage going on, too. She’s not fat. No matter how much you wish she was.

Achtung, Meghan: there ARE cool, hip, young right-wingers out there, besides you. We don’t necessarily love where everything is going right now, either. We may or may not believe in everything the media thinks we do. We can talk about our criticisms without self-hatred. Karl Rove is not “creepy” for following you, he follows thousands of people. We are here, why not find us and champion us, rather than speak for us before knowing what it is we say? The only group we’ve really seen you hang out with (besides Heidi from The Hills, and that loveable sweetie Perez Hilton) is the gays, which is great, but find the rest of us, too.

In the end, I hope she can listen to good advice. I will be cringing slightly in the backround, but most of life is like that anyway, right? Her response to Knight Allah…Meghan, I promise you he knows about your book deal.meghanheidi

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